11/26/13

Dear Diary,

Mommy is so cute. She thinks she can try to control my early wakeup time. I prefer 5am. What’s the big deal? Here is a list of things Mommy has tried, and I can tell you without a doubt they do NOT work:

-       Putting me to bed early

-       Putting me to bed late

-       Dressing me in extra warm pjs

-       Dressing me in light pjs

-       Giving me a pillow and extra blankets

-       Tiptoeing in at 9pm to re-tuck my blankets

-       Not coming in to check on me at 9pmfor fear of superstition

-       Keeping a fan on for white noise

-       Keeping the room really dark (haha, the sun doesn’t arrive until MUCH later)

-       Researching on the internet and/or polling every parent you’ve ever met

-       Praying

-       Bitching, moaning, or complaining

-       Negotiating

-       The reverse psychology method of telling yourself how much you enjoy not using an alarm clock

-       Avoiding getting me out of bed earlier than 6am because you’ve read that you could accidentally train your toddler to wake up even earlier if you respond

-       Bringing me into your bed

-       Quietly snuggling anywhere in the house

-       Alcohol (for Mommy, not me)

-       Going to bed really early, in preparation for a 5am wakeup (you will either toss and turn for hours, or I will start waking up at 4am. I’m good with either choice).

-       Waking me up at 2am to play an aggressive game of Ring Around the Rosie for ½ an hour….oh wait, Mommy hasn’t tried that one yet. Can we do that tonight??

 XOXO,

Baby Zoey

11/4/13

Dear Diary,

Mommy and Daddy took me and Kylie trick or treating. Apparently you walk around for a really long time for no apparent reason. I didn't understand this tradition, and couldn't decide what I wanted to do: walk, ride in the wagon, let Mommy hold me, or just cry for the f*** of it...so I did it all, and mixed it up throughout the evening. I like to keep 'em on their toes. The highlight of the night was when Mommy gave me M&Ms in the wagon. SCORE!

OK, so everyone knows that I am officially a Walker (not to be confused with a cast member of the Walking Dead....which I've seen on Netflix, because "babies love Netflix" - that's a "thing", right?). It feels so freeing to be out of the walking closet, like I'm meant to be on my feet. It feels like Desitin-y (ha, see what I did there?).

But a girl needs secrets. So here's the next secret: I can talk. I just refuse to say Mama, Mommy, or generally anything in reference to my egg donor. I CAN say it, but I'm holding out.

Here is the list of words I am currently speaking:

Dada
Ka (Kylie)
Doggy
Thank you
Shoe
Shoe Fell Off (my teacher ratted me out with this one)
A dissertation on climate change
Yeah

But for now, mum's the word. Ha, see what I did THERE?!

XOXO,
Baby Zoey