11/26/13

Dear Diary,

Mommy is so cute. She thinks she can try to control my early wakeup time. I prefer 5am. What’s the big deal? Here is a list of things Mommy has tried, and I can tell you without a doubt they do NOT work:

-       Putting me to bed early

-       Putting me to bed late

-       Dressing me in extra warm pjs

-       Dressing me in light pjs

-       Giving me a pillow and extra blankets

-       Tiptoeing in at 9pm to re-tuck my blankets

-       Not coming in to check on me at 9pmfor fear of superstition

-       Keeping a fan on for white noise

-       Keeping the room really dark (haha, the sun doesn’t arrive until MUCH later)

-       Researching on the internet and/or polling every parent you’ve ever met

-       Praying

-       Bitching, moaning, or complaining

-       Negotiating

-       The reverse psychology method of telling yourself how much you enjoy not using an alarm clock

-       Avoiding getting me out of bed earlier than 6am because you’ve read that you could accidentally train your toddler to wake up even earlier if you respond

-       Bringing me into your bed

-       Quietly snuggling anywhere in the house

-       Alcohol (for Mommy, not me)

-       Going to bed really early, in preparation for a 5am wakeup (you will either toss and turn for hours, or I will start waking up at 4am. I’m good with either choice).

-       Waking me up at 2am to play an aggressive game of Ring Around the Rosie for ½ an hour….oh wait, Mommy hasn’t tried that one yet. Can we do that tonight??

 XOXO,

Baby Zoey